Joe is yelling at the trees again.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
