Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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