Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
