There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
