I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
