final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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