I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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