I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
