I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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