i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
