You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
