So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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