Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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