I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
