I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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