No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
