the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
