Cold hands, warm shart.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
That's intense
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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