he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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