We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I need to calm my uterus...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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