I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
