she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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