My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
