a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
