Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Can I color on your dick again?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
