at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Randomize
