He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
