There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
