If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
