pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
