You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Be still, my beating vagina.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
