Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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