I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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