so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
