Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize