I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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