How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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