ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
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