i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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