Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
