Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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