i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
