Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
