im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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