Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
