just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
im holly from the hills drunk
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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