i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
