I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
