How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
did i walk over a car last night?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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