I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
