i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
