Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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