I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
