so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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