gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
