paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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