somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
