just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
