So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
