when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
